Norah's Birth Story - Unedited

Those beautiful eyes are blue for now, but Mommy thinks they just might turn brown!

We just can't get over how blessed we are to have this little angel!

Since this blog is a record for posterity's sake please know that I'm going to write the details and that some of those details may be too graphic for some! :) Proceed at your own risk! This post is also exceptionally LONG...

I believe this journey began on the evening of Sunday, January 4th. Justin and I had decided to take the boys on a late afternoon walk around the neighborhood and it ended up being a rather long stroll because we were just enjoying being outdoors. When we got home we fed, bathed, and put the boys to bed and then we sat down together to watch some TV - uninterrupted. (For those who care to know what we were watching - it was a show on Animal Planet called, "I Was Bitten" - we recommend it to anyone that loves gruesome animal bite documentaries. :) During the show I started noticing that my normal everyday Braxton Hicks contractions were coming somewhat frequently so we broke out the iTouch and started timing them. I was definitely having more than the 'allotted' 6 an hour, but they were not at all painful and by midnight I was ready to go to bed. Around 3 a.m. I woke up with some more BH contractions and couldn't go back to sleep as I was feeling anxious that my body might actually be trying to evict Miss Eleanor too early. As soon as 8 o'clock rolled around and the office was open I called my OB and told the nurse what was going on. Along with the BH contractions that morning I had also noticed some blood tinged mucous when I went to the bathroom (any mom will know what I'm talking about ;) so I made sure to relay that information as well. (It should be noted that I had lost my 'plug' the week previous, and in my previous two pregnancies delivery occurred 1-1.5 weeks after that blessed event. :)

My normal OB was not in the office on Monday so I had to see another of the doctors in the practice (Dr. Castillion, my least favorite due to her complete lack of bedside manner and tact) and after examining me she not only said she was surprised that a mom on her third child wouldn't know when it was a false alarm (umm....thanks for making me feel completely stupid!), but that I was merely at most 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. (Many women walk around this way for weeks - especially mom's that are on second and subsequent pregnancies.) She said the blood was probably nothing and that she didn't even notice any during the exam (which was extremely brief) so it was probably just some minor irritation to my cervix. (I think I know the difference between minor irritation and a bloody glob of mucous, thank you!)

So I went home, drank a ton of water, and felt stupid for going in. Throughout the day I continued to have more bloody show (which all of my pregnancy books say indicates that labor is 24-48 hours away) and by evening was having increasingly frequent (though not at all painful) BH contractions. I finally bit the bullet and called my OB's office around 8:00 p.m. because I truly didn't know if the contractions were doing anything, but the amount of blood was concerning to me and I while I knew Baby Girl would be okay if she was born at that point, I wanted to give her at least another week to cook if at all possible!

The nurse on-call took all of my information and said she was certain she would see me soon, but had to notify the on-call doctor for the official order on whether to allow me to come in. I honestly started crying when the nurse came back on the line and said that Dr. Castillion (yes, the very same!) was on-call that evening and that she didn't feel my signs warranted a trip to L & D. She wanted me to wait until my, "Contractions had me doubled over in unbearable pain and left me unable to walk. They also had to be at least 2 minutes in duration and less than five minutes apart." (Yes - that's a direct quote.) Her explanation for the increased bloody show was that I had had an exam that morning and it's very common to see some blood after a cervical exam. (I knew that! But there's a difference between old brownish 'irritated cervix' blood and the copious amount of red mucous I was seeing! How did this woman end up in obstetrics?!) Even the nurse said before I hung up, "Well, honey, I have a feeling we'll be seeing you very soon anyway!"

At that point I went downstairs and told Justin I would not go into L & D with Dr. Castillion on-call unless the baby was crowning. And even then I would refuse to allow her the honor of delivering our little girl.

I drank a ton of water and after a few hours my contractions subsided. Miraculously I managed to get some sleep that evening (and actually slept pretty well!) and woke up the next morning (Tuesday the 6th) with no signs of any BH. I was still having bloody show, but it had not increased from the day before. Justin could tell something was off and insisted on working from home while I spent the day taking it relatively easy. The boys and I drove up to Concord Mills to look at the fish in the huge tank at the Bass Pro Shop (yep - it was raining and we couldn't play outside, so we did the next best thing. :) and then we stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home for oranges and gummy bears.

Later that afternoon (around 5 p.m.) I had been sewing and started to notice the BH returning. From the get go they were very consistent at 2.5-3 minutes apart, but as before they were totally painless. My sister (who had driven up on Monday to stay with us until Baby Girl was born so she could watch the boys while we were in the hospital) tells me now that I had a definite aura of 'leave me alone' going on, but I was just anxious, restless, and didn't want to call the office again if it was nothing. Around 7:30, however, I finally called knowing that Dr. Castillion would NOT be the one on-call as she had just had her shift. At that point I also didn't care if I was sent home - I just needed to know if something was going on to alleviate my anxiety. By this time my contractions were actually becoming pretty intense at their peak (which lasted only a few seconds) to the point where I had to stop talking during the peak, but after I felt totally fine which made me wonder if they were even strong enough to be doing anything. This time (thank you Heavenly Father!) my FAVORITE doctor was on-call and he immediately gave the okay for me to come on in.

With the contractions only hurting for a few brief seconds at their peak, Justin and I bathed and put the boys to bed and then loaded up the car and finally drove in to the hospital. I had to stop walking/talking during the height of each contraction, but they were definitely manageable and I was still almost convinced that we would be sent home or that the contractions would fizzle any time. The nurse got us into a room where I changed into a gown and was hooked up to the fetal monitors and after a few minutes Dr. Fishburne came in to exam me. It was now about 8:30 p.m.

His exact words were, "Yep. You're about 5-6 centimeters dilated, 90% effaced. Baby is at a -1 station." I was shocked! I couldn't believe I had dilated that much at home with such mild contractions, but realized that was probably why I was so on edge to just get checked out. Dr. Fishburne then spoke with us about Baby Girl being only 35 weeks and that at this point they don't do aggressive treatment to stall labor (especially past 4 cm. dilation), but that he would leave it up to us as to what to do. Justin and I decided to avoid the heavy medications since Dr. Fishburne said they almost never work to stop labor past 34 weeks gestation and can have some pretty negative effects on both Mommy and Baby as far as post-partum complications/side-effects. Instead, we agreed with him in that we should try something to stall my labor and ended up going with his suggestion of hooking me up to an IV for some immediate mega-hydration, which can help stop contractions 'naturally'.

About 30 minutes after administering the fluids Dr. Fishburne came in to do a cervical exam and to see if the hydration had helped slow the contractions. I knew it had not as I was still feeling them regularly and they were still just as intense at their brief peaks. As for cervical change Dr. Fishburne said, "Well, you're now about 7-8 cm dilated so it looks like we'll be having a baby!"

Justin and I were very excited and nervous and I was just so relieved to finally have been taken seriously! Our amazing nurse at the time, Emily, then asked the magic question: "Do you want me to call anesthesiology to come get you an epidural?" Throughout this pregnancy I had really hoped to at least give a natural delivery a try. I had had low blood pressure issues after having the epidural with both of the boys and while everything ended up being fine it just made their deliveries more 'medical' than I'd wanted as I'd needed constant machine monitoring and a nurse in the room at all times just in case my bp plummeted. Justin was very anti-no epidural because he dreaded the idea of having to watch me in pain, but I really felt like it was something I wanted/needed to do for myself and also to find out if it would make a difference in my post-partum recovery. (I hated not being able to walk for hours and having to have a catheter with the epidural. Plus - with Eddie my bp had gone so low that I'd needed two epinephrine injections just to get my bp out of the 'danger' range. I didn't like knowing that Eddison had therefore received some of that as he was still in-utero when the shots were administered.) However, I didn't want to plan 100% on not having an epidural because I didn't want to feel like I'd let myself down or failed if I decided to have one.

Anyway, I looked at Justin and he said he'd support whatever decision I made, so I told the nurse that while I wasn't planning on having an epidural, I might change my mind later and would let her know.

During the initial cervical exam Dr. Fishburne noticed the amount of bloody show I had been experiencing and asked how long I'd been having it. I then told him of my experience with finding it on Monday morning and my subsequent call with Dr. Castillion and he then expressed some concern that it was more than he liked to see and that he suspected my placenta had probably started to separate from the uterus (called a 'partial placental abruption'). It can be a life threatening condition to both mom and baby so he ordered an extra port be put into my arm in case I needed an emergency blood transfusion.

My contractions soon began to pick up in intensity to the point where I began to use the 'natural' pain management techniques I'd practiced (imaging and breathing) and Justin was amazing. He did his best to help support me through each contraction and it was amazing how I would feel perfectly fine between them, but then such intense pain during them! At one point I asked Justin to break out the iTouch so I could listen to some music thinking he'd downloaded all of our iTunes onto it. Happy to be able to do something to help he quickly got it out and hit play for me... I HAD to laugh when Guns & Roses', "Don't You Cry" started sounding by my ears! LOL!!! He didn't even do it to be funny! :) Needless to say he only had a limited amount of music loaded and none of it was exceptionally relaxing so he put the music away pretty quickly. (Dr. Fishburne agreed with Justin that G &R is always appropriate! :)

During a cervical check around 11 p.m. Dr. Fishburne had also found that the baby was still at a -1 station and for some reason wasn't descending down the birth canal. I agreed to let him break my water as I was already 9 cm and it hadn't broken on its own. That's when the REAL pain/action began!

Almost immediately I was beyond talking between contractions (I was just using that time to recover and prepare for the next contraction which felt like it was almost on top of the previous one) and in thirty minutes Dr. Fishburne said I had just a 'lip' of cervix left that I could either try to push through or we could wait another 20 minutes to let it dilate on its own. I jumped at the chance to focus on something other than the contractions so I said, "Let's push!" (Plus I had pushed the boys out in less than 5 minutes so I knew that once I could push I'd have Norah out in no time! :) I had read that for many woman delivering naturally that pushing is supposed to be easier than dealing with the pain of the contractions because you're actually doing something. Words cannot even express how untrue that was in my case! LOL! Once I started pushing I knew I had to keep going until she was out... the feeling of her head coming down the birth canal was incapacitating and adding a contraction on top of that was indescribable. Dr. Fishburne had his hands in as far as he could trying to stretch everything to make room and after a couple of minutes he announced that he could see her head and that it was facing the wrong direction - which explained why she was not coming down the birth canal 'easily'. He attempted to turn her, but couldn't so I just pushed with everything I had! It was only during this time that I actually made any noises due to the pain and they were completely involuntary! No screams, just gasps and what Justin described as a couple of, "squeals". Lovely. :) I remember thinking I couldn't understand how some women have the energy to scream when I didn't even have the ability to hold Justin's hand! (Though he kept a good hold on mine. :) That's how focused all of my energy was on getting our little girl OUT!

Finally, after ten minutes of pushing, Dr. Fishburne yelled, "Okay, stop pushing! Pant for me!" So I panted and then he said, "Give me a little push!" And I did until he said, "Okay stop! Pant again!" Justin was saying, "There she is! She's coming!" So I knew her head was crowning and the doctor was just helping to slow her exit so I wouldn't tear. The end was in sight! I didn't feel any "ring of fire" feeling because the only pain was what felt like my pelvis being broken. However, in just seconds Dr. Fishburne said, "Give me one little push..." and then I felt her head come out and there was immediate RELIEF! I quickly pushed myself up and opened my eyes for the first time in the past 40 minutes and watched Dr. Fishburne quickly suction her nose and then watched as I pushed the rest of her little body out (which just slid right out it seems) and she was lifted up and swiftly placed onto my stomach. The time was 11:44 p.m.

***PURE JOY ***

Dr. Fishburne then said, "Have you ever heard of a baby being born 'Sunny Side Up'? Because that's how this little one just came out. That's why she wasn't descending before we ruptured your membranes and if you felt a lot of pelvic pain it was because the back of her head was pressing down instead of towards the exit." Well - that explained the 'breaking pelvis'! LOL! I think she just wanted a dramatic entrance to announce that even though she was small she could do some damage! :)

While she was on my stomach Justin got to cut the cord and we just marveled at how tiny and dark-haired our little daughter was! The nurses then took her over to the warmer where she scored an 8 and 9 on her apgar. They massaged her and just watched her breathing while I delivered the placenta and was 'cleaned up'. I needed only two stitches and the doctor said if he could classify it as a 1/2 degree tear he would. Regardless there has been zero pain as far as that goes so I'm very grateful that he took the time to help ease Eleanor out instead of letting me rocket her out like I wanted to! :)

After the doctor finished stitching and the nurse had cleaned me off it had been about 40 minutes since Norah's birth. The nurses were still just monitoring her breathing (which was just a precautionary measure because of her prematurity) on the other side of the room and because she was a little cold they had to have the warmer on her. This meant I couldn't hold her yet which was so hard! But because I didn't have an epidural I was able to just get up and walk over to her warmer to stand with her until she was given the all clear to be held! It's AMAZING how quickly I felt totally fine and was able to get around like normal (mostly)! I was especially grateful that even though I couldn't hold her right away I could stand by her and hold her hand.

A short time later she was finally given the 'all clear' to be taken out of the warmer and we held our little angel for the first time (not counting when she was on my stomach right after her birth). This was also when they did her weight and measurements and we realized just how much of a peanut she was!

We are SO THANKFUL that she is here and healthy! I wouldn't trade her birth story for anything and am so glad that I was able to have the kind of delivery I'd wanted. Will I deliver naturally next time? I can't answer that right now! LOL! There are definite pros and cons to each delivery 'method' and I'm just satisfied that I've now gotten to experience both ways and proved to myself that I could do it.

Thankfully, Eleanor didn't need any additional time in the hospital and was able to come home with us as scheduled on Thursday. :) She is such a wonderful blessing to our family!

If you've made it this far... here are some more pictures of our little beauty! She's nursing fairly well (though she gets tired quickly) and I'm pumping to build my supply for when she's able to fully nurse as well as to supplement her feedings.

Justin playing 'Mr.Mom'. Doesn't he look so cute holding that little bundle of pink?!

So cute in her new outfit! Grandma Wilde sent some adorable preemie outfits so Norah will have something pretty to wear until she can fit into her newborn clothes. As you can see she has plenty of growing room in her preemie clothes, too! (Which is good because they're SO cute! Thank you, Mom!!!)

A proud big brother! Jackson LOVES holding Eleanor whenever we let him!

Daddy and daughter. I just love that I can say that now!

We've been supplementing a few of her feedings with a high-calorie formula to help her gain some weight. As of now she's weighing in at 4 lbs. 7 oz., but we hope to see that number climb by her next appointment on Monday!

I just love this picture from the hospital because it shows how much of a little bug Norah is! She just fits right up by my neck and loves to snuggle. :)

This one gives a better reference for her size. What a cute little bottom!!!

Eleanor and her baby book. It's so big next to her!

On our second day Norah had to spend some time under the warmer again. We took the opportunity to try to show how small she is and the bag of chocolate chip cookies was the only thing we could find to put next to her. :) (The cookies have long since been eaten... Thank you Julie! They were much appreciated!)